


Episode 1 : Invader Dib

by ink_writer



Series: Invaders Dib & Gaz [1]
Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Human Zim, Do not repost, Frenemies Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), Human AU, Human Gir, Human Zim, Im done with tags, Irken Dib (Invader Zim), Irken Empire (Invader Zim), Irken Gaz (Invader Zim), Irkens (Invader Zim), Species Swap, Species swap au, Zim has a skin condition, do not reupload, i cant believe i have to tag that, kind of an AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:35:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23991655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ink_writer/pseuds/ink_writer
Summary: Dib and Gaz are Irken invaders, given a top-secret mission to Earth from the almighty Tallest. What they aren’t expecting is how the planet will fight back - specifically with a boy who has  a skin condition and his little brother who carries a creepy stuffed dog.(I suck at summaries okay)
Relationships: Dib & GIR (Invader Zim), Dib & Gaz & GIR & Zim (Invader Zim), Dib & Gaz (Invader Zim), Dib & Zim (Invader Zim), GIR & Zim (Invader Zim), Gaz & GIR (Invader Zim), Gaz & Zim (Invader Zim), ZADF - Relationship, Zade - Relationship
Series: Invaders Dib & Gaz [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1730020
Kudos: 51





	1. The daymare begins

**Author's Note:**

> I’m sorry.

The voot cruiser landed next to a house at the end of a street in the dark. Two figures popped out, one hissing at the other for interrupting their game.

It was the first figure. “I’m telling you Dib, if you mess me up again-“ 

“Gaz, shh! Do you want to wake the entire planet?” The second figure, Dib, whispered.

“So what if I do?” Gaz shot back, but with lower volume.

Dib rolled his eyes, pushing a button that would build a base for them. “Just back up.”

The two of them walked to the sidewalk and watched their house grow before them, stretching up three stories, popping out a garage and a lab underground, and ended up setting off several car alarms.

“Great, because my whispering wasn’t enough for you, Dib.” Gaz rolled her eyes.

“Shut up and get inside before someone sees us!” He dashed into the house, only stopping to see his sister right behind him.

“What now?” She asked, pausing and turning off her game console.

Dib smiled. “We become the enemy.”

————

“I’ve got a good feeling about this Gaz.”

Dib had figured out the perfect disguise to blend in with the humans. He flapped the coat collar and adjusted the optical enhancers on his face.

“You look stupid.” Gaz spat. “What even is that thing in the hair? Why does it stick up like that? What’s with the coat? It’s not even cold outside. I’d be surprised if someone figured out our real identities and soon as we step in the door.”

“Jeez Gaz. Could you be any more negative about things?”

“Actually-“

“You know that was rhetorical,” Dib interrupted and she smirked. He huffed out the door of their base, leaving Gaz to follow.

He walked along the street until he got to the skool. There was a bunch of children running around and talking, waiting for the doors to open. One kid was standing by himself, watching a smaller boy scream from joy as he kicked a rock. The kid had a hoodie, black hair and skin that looked almost green-ish. He noticed Dib staring and Dib quickly looked away before the doors opened and he rushed inside.

——————————

“Alright class, meet the newest addition to this pathetic student body. His name is Dib.” Ms Bitters turned to him and hissed. “This is your only chance to make a sound, because as soon as you sit down I don’t want to hear another from you!”

Dib looked around the room and noticed the boy from outside, glaring at him. The irken swallowed and took the empty seat that was furthest away.

Finally, the bell rang for class to be over. Ms Bitters called Dib up to her desk, along with the glaring boy.

“Dib, this is Zim. He is going to help you..er..adjust to being at a new skool. And for the record, this wasn’t my idea. NOW BOTH OF YOU GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!”

The two of them walked out of the classroom and out of the building. “So... Zim right?”

Zim looked at him. “That is correct.”

“Of the event of say, a full scale alien invasion, how prepared do you think this plants defenses would be?”

Zim blinked. Dib was afraid he had just blown his entire mission until he heard “Like, with a spaceship armada or a bunch of flying saucers making pew noises with blasters?”

“Uh.. an armada?”

“Well, I think some governments would argue, probably send missiles or try to make peace with the aliens. But that’s probably it. Why?”

“Just...making conversation. Why are we waiting outside skool?” Dib asked, tilting his head a little.

“Waiting for my brother, Gir. You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.” 

“Does he take longer getting out of the building? Did he forget something?” The Irken wondered.

Zim shook his head. “He had a bit of an accident when he was younger, got messed up in the head. Same accident that gave me these.” He pointed to behind his ears, where there were little devices attached. “Now they keep him after skool to try and help him.”

Dib nodded and the two of them sat outside, waiting. Eventually, a small boy- the same one who was kicking the rock that morning- came running outside waving around a piece of paper.

He had messy black hair, a green hoodie, untied shoes, a weird stuffed dog that matched the jacket, and a pair of goggles on his face that he lifted off his eyes to his forehead before talking.

“Brother! I made art today! Isn’t it pret- SQUIRREL.” He looked off to the side in dead silence as the rodent scurried up a tree.

Zim took the piece of paper out of Gir’s hands and looked at the stick figured drawing. “Yes, yes, very good. We should stick it on the fridge at home.” He handed the drawing back to Gir, who put it in his backpack and took Zim’s hand. Only then did he notice Dib.

“Who’s that?” Gir pointed and stared at him, his eyes intense and a bit scary. Dib flinched under the gaze.

“This is Dib. He’s a new kid in my class and he’s going to walk home with us today. You okay with that Gir?”

Gir nodded and started skipping along to his own little song. Dib couldn’t tell if he was singing “Do dee do” or “Doom doomy doom”.

They approached a fork in the paths and Zim stopped. “Do you want to walk with us to our house then go to yours, or do you want to walk to your house and we go to ours?”

Dib had begun to grow a (small) liking to the brothers, but he still didn’t want any human...filth to know where his and Gaz’s base was. “We can go to yours. I know the way to my place.”

Zim nodded and they kept going up until a big purple house that was right in between two brick ones. It was a bit lopsided, with a green roof and some weird animal things in front, along with tiny little men with pointed beards and hats, with the whole place surrounded by a fence.

Gir immediately ran up and inside, turning on a broadcasting machine that had little animations dancing on the screen.

“Well, see you tomorrow, I guess.” Zim said, waiting for Dib to start walking away.

“Right. Yes. See you. Tomorrow.” Dib turned and headed to his house, hearing Zim mutter “Weirdo.” before walking inside and closing the door.

Dib arrived at the base, or “home”, and went in. Gaz immediately started asking questions.

“Where were you? Collecting valuable information I hope?”

Dib cleared his throat and answered. “Why yes, I actually did learn quite a bit about humans. And that it will only be a matter of time before we have the Irken Empire ruling this planet.”

Gaz nodded and went back to her game, no longer paying attention to anything he was going to say.

Dib went down to the lab and dialed the Tallest. “Invader Dib reporting sirs!”

“Speak, invader.” Tallest Purple said boredly, shoving some food in his mouth.

“The mission goes well. But surely you expected that from me, and Gaz. The humans do not suspect a thing. I wouldn’t be surprised if we took care of the earth filth before the Armada even gets here.”

“Okay. Thank you...er-” Tallest Red tried to grasp a name.

“Invader Dib.” Dib said.

“Invader Dib! Have fun- I mean.. good luck soldier.”

The call ended.


	2. Worstest Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dib doesn’t have friends, just one. (Okay maybe two)

A week after Dib came to class, he overheard some of the female children chatting mindlessly on the playground.

“I wonder if the new kid can even make friends. I mean, it’s been a week and the only person I’ve seen him hang out with is his younger sister. How lame is that?” The first one said, adjusting her hair band.

“Yeah. I mean, who has zero friends? What a loser. At least the rejects over there have each other.” Another girl motioned to a group by the edge of the playground, who were trying to see who could lick their elbow first.

“Even the green freak has some friends.” A third pointed at Zim, who was glaring at a ginger headed boy who wouldn’t shut up about something.

Then the group of girls giggled and began talking about a ‘television’ program they had seen.

Dib scanned the recess area. Friends? Invaders didn’t need friends. They only needed themselves, and on occasion, each other, to complete their mission.

That night he shared these thoughts with Gaz.

“Hmm,” she said, not looking up from her game. “They made it seem like these ‘friend’ things are important. Maybe we should have a few, so people don’t get suspicious, since you obviously gave them an opportunity.”

“What?”

“It means you almost blew it, garbage for brains!” She hit him on the head and he went to the lab to form a plan.

————————

Dib sat on one of the benches outside, using a notepad to try and figure out who would make a suitable ‘friend’.

“Hmm... too ugly. Too stinky. Gross. Weird. Talks too much. I don’t think that ones breathing...”

He looked around the schoolyard, seeing if there was anyone he had missed.

Finally he saw Zim, who hadn’t made any effort to talk to him since the first day. The ginger kid was talking again, and Zim seemed about three seconds away from killing him.

Dib remembered all the useful information Zim had given him. If the two of them became friends, who knows? Dib could learn a lot more a lot faster, and as much as he probably shouldn’t be helping the filthy humans, it would get the annoying kid off Zim’s back. Yes, it was the perfect plan.

He walked over to the two kids and they both stopped and looked up.

“Uh, hi,” he greeted.

The ginger kid took Dibs hand and shook it so violently, he thought his PAK would fall off.

“Hi! I’m Keef! Want to be friends?!”

“Uh...”

“We can go to the carnaval! Play video games! Play tag! Talk!” He kept smiling at him and going on and on.

Dib slowly took out a device and stuck it into Keef’s hand, and the kid passed out cold.

Zim stood up really fast. “Zim thought he would never stop talking! Even Gir has an off switch... but also how did you do that?”

“Pressure points?” Dib guessed. He heard Gaz talking a lot about human combat and how ‘pressure points’ could knock someone out or paralyze them. Or worse. He shuddered a bit at the thought.

Zim raised an eyebrow of disbelief, but clearly didn’t care enough to keep wondering. “So why did you come over here?”

“To see if you wanted to be... friends? I thought since we got along the first day it was a good idea.” Dib hesitated, waiting for a response.

Zim sighed. “To be honest, I was only being nice to you because Ms Bitters would have killed me if I didn’t.”

Dib nodded but also said “I don’t think she would have, it’s not allowed, right?”

“Definetly illegal,” Zim snorted. “but Ms Bitters could have _invented_ murder, I wouldn’t be surprised. Back to the point though, since you saved me from Keef, I guess I could tolerate you. Unless you’re as talkative as him.”

Dib shook his head.

“Good. Some rules though.”

Dib waited.

“One, don’t be annoying. Two, understand that I can not talk to you or hang out with you all the time. Three, _if you ever say anything remotely bad about my brother_ -“ Zim grabbed Dib’s shirt collar and looked him dead in the eyes. “I _will_ end you.”

Dib nodded. “I understand.”

Zim let go. “Good. I guess we’re friends then.” He sat down and began playing with a small device that had previously been broken.

Dib sat next to him and wrote in his notepad “One step closer for an Irken victory.”

—————————

Zim, Gir, and Dib were walking home from skool. Gir was mindlessly humming and chatting about his day. Zim has his hands stuffed in his pockets and nodded along to Gir’s stories.

Dib formed a question in his mind.  
“Hey Zim, why is your skin, uh, green?”

Zim shot him a look. “Don’t you know that’s a rude question?”

Dib hadn’t realized it was, but before he could apologize, his question was answered.

“If you _must _know, it’s a skin condition. It’s so rare they didn’t even name it.” Zim said, and it sounded as if he had repeated it many times.__

__“Oh. Does it hurt you?”_ _

__“Nah. It itches sometimes, but I take medication so it usually isn’t a bother.”_ _

__“Is it genetic?”_ _

__Zim shook his head. “Mutation at birth. They don’t know what caused it. Like I said, it’s rare.”_ _

__“Interesting. And you’ve never met anyone with the same condition. Ever? Not even heard of someone?”_ _

__“Well, I used to have this penpal who did. But the last letter I got from them was from their parents, about how the condition overtook their weaker immune system. They’re gone now.” Zim looked down at his shoes, and Dib started to feel bad about asking in the first place._ _

__Gir noticed and bounced over to his brother. “Aww it’s okay! We can get pizza!” He smiled up at Zim and Dib, clearly misreading the conversation._ _

__“Yeah, we can do that!” Dib said, an idea forming in his mind. “My sister loves pizza too, what if we all went to get some?”_ _

__Zim gave him a questioning look. “I didn’t know you had a sister, but yeah, sounds fun.”_ _

__Gir ran around in circles while making airplane noises._ _

__“Stay here, I’ll go get her.” Dib ran a few blocks to the base, bursting in the doorway. “GAZ!”_ _

__She jumped. “Aw c’mon! I was almost finished with the Robo-dad!”_ _

__“We’re going to get pizza, with the _friend_ I made.”_ _

__Gaz raised an eyebrow. “Wait, you actually did something right?”_ _

__“Yes, now cmon!”_ _

__His sister rolled her eyes and threw down her wrench, but then followed Dib._ _

__“Guys, this is my sister, Gaz. Gaz this is Zim and Gir.”_ _

__“Hi.” Zim put out his hand._ _

__A cloud passed in front of the sun, and a breeze passed by as Gaz took his hand and briefly shook it._ _

__A chill ran down Dibs spine. Somehow, he felt he made a mistake introducing them._ _

__“MY NAME’S GIR!” Gir shouted, to no one in particular._ _

__“Well that clears that up.” Gaz said, whipping out her game and walking in the direction of the pizza place._ _

__Zim followed after her, Gir grabbing his brothers hand and pointing at every bird that flew by._ _

__Dib wondered about his weird feeling._ _

__“C’mon Dib! This was your idea!” Gaz shouted over her shoulder._ _

__He snapped to attention and went after them, unsure of what was next to come._ _

**Author's Note:**

> I’m actually not sorry.


End file.
